This guy was so hopeless that I doubt anybody is in much danger of being scammed by him. All the same I thought I’d pass the experience along. It was kind of entertaining too, in a sad way.
The phone wakes me up from a well-deserved nap after a morning of ripping crabgrass out of my front yard. “Hello?” I say.
There’s a long pause. I know from volunteering for a phone bank that this is the classic sign of a phone bank. The guy’s computer has put my call up on his screen as Answered, and we’re all waiting for him to notice it. “Hello,” he says unhelpfully. I hear a lot of talking in the background, like it’s a busy office.
“Hellooooooo,” I say slowly to make it clear that this is the part where you tell me who you are.
“This is Sam, calling from Window Services.” Sam sounds depressed, and he pronounces each word separately as if English were a second language.
I just had our windows cleaned, so I think this is one of those customer satisfaction surveys. “What can I do for you, Sam?”
“I’m calling about your computer.”
That background chatter isn’t an office, it’s a sweatshop. Shields up! “What about my computer?”
“For the past three weeks your computer has been generating error messages.” Sam is even sadder now, because he’s gotten to the part of his spiel where people hang up.
“What kind of computer do you think I have?”
“A windows operating system computer.”
“But my computer doesn’t run the Windows operating system.”
“Oh, all right. Good-bye.” CLICK