Busted! Inferno lighter

This is essentially a taser and will shock the s*** out of you if you make contact with your skin.


Credibility: Low

xBut let’s start with the bust, because a good product sold in an evil way is still a scam.  I’ve followed the laughing bearded man from LUX HD450’s Suttgart laboratory, where he is named Simon Greig, to Inferno Lighter’s Engineering Division, which he leads as Daniel Cowen.  Such a talented fellow, and cursed with such a long commute!

The order form shows that the usual buy-lots-to-get-the-advertised-price game is played here.  I also see another classic scam warning sign; the order form disables my browser’s back button, so I have to close the tab to escape from it.  The same post-office box hosts La Creme Skin Care, featured in a Ripoff Report; it’s the “free trial” scam.

Now let’s see what Inferno Lighter has to say about their products, adjusting for their earned credibility as we go.

Claims: Not too bad

A lighter lighter? “This lighter is made with a zinc alloy, so it’s lighter, but more durable than typical lighters,” Inferno Lighters explains.  Nicholas Martin comments on Amazon, “It’s got a little weight and feels sturdy enough to survive any falls that may take place.”  But Amazon’s lighter might not be identical to Inferno’s.  “It has that ‘high quality heaviness’ you expect from a top quality product,” Icarus Lighters boasts of their very similar lighter.  Not sure how to score this one.

A safer lighter? “A British Report links, ‘butane lighter fluid leads to 52% of all deaths occurring from abused solvent chemicals. It’s dangerous stuff!'”  “Abused” as in sniffing?  Yes.  A cheaper solution might be, don’t sniff your lighter.

Anyway, Inferno Lighter neglected to link that report, and I can’t find it.  I did find a lot of paranoid posts by potheads, and this on Answers.com:


Butane gas in its natural state , when inhaled may not necessarily cause cancer . However , it is believed that when burned or incinerated . the by-product , in the form of Hc and Co , has been proven by the E.P.A. carcinogous .


All right, Daniel Cowen, five points to you!  But, does it make sense for somebody who inhales tobacco smoke to worry about the carcinogens in their butane lighter’s smoke?

xOn the other hand, the electrical-shock warning we started with is not just theoretical.  It’s from “Matt,” an Amazon purchaser of a very similar lighter.

  • “Fattdogs” adds, “I learned really quick though not to touch it, as it went through my nail and flexed all the muscles up my arm into my neck, so it makes me wonder what type of voltage it carries, but works good!”
  • “River,” who must not have read the other reviews, commented,”I like it better than a traditional lighter because unless you purposefully stick your finger in the electricity you won’t get burned from a flame in the wind. (Note: I’ve never stuck my finger in it, so I have no idea what happens if you do, but I wouldn’t advise it.)”

Still, most Amazon customers are very pleased.  Of course, that’s no reason to buy a lighter from Inferno for three times as much money.  And wouldn’t they love to fondle your credit card.

I’m waiting for the tactical-flashlight people to realize the weapons potential of these lighters and come out with a hybrid product.

checkA better lighter? “The Inferno Lighter has a wider lighting surface, which allows it to spark almost everything. The Inferno Lighter can light all sorts of things including cigars, candles, incense, and hemp wicks.”  Pretty sly of Daniel to sneak “hemp” in there.  Fawning review site Infinite Power Solutions made this Trump-like point; “Many reviewers appreciate the fact that the Inferno Lighter isn’t susceptible to wind.”

checkAn impressive lighter? “The first thing you’ll notice is how much attention you get when you use it. I’ve yet to use it in public without drawing a crowd.”  Now I think we’ve hit a nerve (tho this again is Icarus Lighter touting their similar product).  Sexy, and just a bit dangerous!  Amazon customers think so too.  “This is the coolest lighter ever.”  “The purple arc is very cool, it lights my cigarette fast.”  “Absolutely love this lighter!”  “This is a really neat product.”

Legal chicanery

xTerms and Conditions are where you find out how you’ll be treated if you proceed.  In Inferno Lighter’s case, not very well.  Behind the obfuscation, I find:

  • You can’t take us to court.
  • We’ll take your money now, and maybe ship the lighter later.
  • We’ll give you a discount if you buy lots of lighters, but you can’t re-sell them.
  • Our 30-day refund period starts on the date of your order, not the date you get your lighter.
  • Even if you never use your lighter, we can duck refunding your money.
  • If you reverse the credit card charge, that’s theft.
  • We don’t guarantee that the lighter is any good, nor that anything we say is true.
  • We aren’t liable for any loss or damage.  (re: shock hazard?)

The Privacy Policy is also illuminating.  Basically,

  • We’ll collect every bit of information you give us, and everything we can suck out of your browser.  It’s ours forever; if we sell our company, your personal information will be part of the deal.
  • We can use it to beam ads to you and spam you.
  • We can give it to our “affiliates” who can beam ads to you and spam you.

Conclusion

Other than the shock hazard, electric lighters sound pretty neat to me.  I’d just buy one from someplace reputable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Busted! Inferno lighter

  1. Pingback: Death by laughter; Shadowhawk tactical laser | Web Scammer Jammer

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